


Is there anyone?

by Regenspiegel



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), Fluff and Angst, M/M, Trans Male Character, Trans Saihara Shuichi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-09-01 19:53:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 12,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20263636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Regenspiegel/pseuds/Regenspiegel
Summary: Basically Kokichi has nightmares from past trauma and attends hopes peak high.Everything was good and fine, but then shuichi moved in the same dorm room and things start to get complicated.After all, Kokichi can't let anyone find out that he isn't as strong as he appears to be





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy my first project on here! I'm very sorry for possible spelling mistakes..

And he was running. Running away from it.

He just couldn't handle it. Couldn't handle all their happy faces, how they fake it. Fake a smile at everyone.

How could they do it?

The boy with the purple hair stumbled over a stone and almost fell on his nose. Just in time he was able to catch himself bevor hitting the ground.

With teary eyes he was staring at the ground beneath him. Many little stones the sparkled like diamonds laid there.

And with that he was back in the present. Those stones had not been stones after all but the many broken pieces of an old bottle.

Blood trailed its way down his tiny hands and a sob slipped past the purple haired boy.

"Get up and clean that mess before I get angry"

The tears started rolling down. He couldn't hold them back anymore. He had used up all of his strength.

Right before he could grab the shattered pieces, the scenery began to spin and he was sitting in high grass.

The pain in his palms was gone and had been exchanged by a soft prickling sensation.

A motion next to him lead him to turn his head to the side.

Someone was sitting there, he was.. not alone?

"I'll be there Kokichi, you just have to.."

And then there was a bang. Liquid was splashed into his face, blinding him for a second.

He wanted to forget that sight before him. How the body was lying there, skull open. How his dad was standing there with a baseball bat.

How that was obviously blood on his hands and face... He led out a deafening scream. 

**....**

**....**

Kokichi was sitting in his bed. Muscles tensed and wet because of his sweat. His breathing was fast and heavy.

"Such a weird dream again.." He muttered to himself and took a glance at the clock. After that he swung his legs out of bed and walked shakily towards the dorm showerroom.

It was 4am, so the chance of meeting someone was extremely low. Kokichi scooped himself out of his wet pyjama and turned the water on.

The cold liquid send shivers down his spine, but thats exactly what he needed after such a nightmare.

His pinkish eyes fixed the floor as the water continued to run down his body.

Kokichi's eyes started to burn and so did his lungs. He was sure he was going to pass out any second.

After staring at the floor for another 20 minutes or so, he stopped the stream and dried himself down. 

'Here comes another day Kokichi'

As he passed one of the big mirrors in the entrance of the showers, he couldn't help but put on a confident smirk.

He had to hide his insecurities, to lock them away. He was the ultimate supreme leader after all. He couldn't afford to show weakness to anyone. No way.

With that another day started. After showering began the same procedure as always. Kokichi laid awake in his bed, till his alarm went of and told him to get his ass to class.

The way to the main building wasn't that long, but after another nightmare it felt like miles away.

"Good morning Kokichi, slept well I hope?"

Kaedes voice rung in his earsears and as miu came running from behind kaede, he knew he should have stayed in bed.

"Nishishi~ Good morning milk-tit and piano freak", was his cheeky answer and a sight was their reaction on that.

After that the conversation died down and Kokichi silently thanked atua for it.

His seat in class was in the back and with a sigh he let himself sink onto it, only to watch his classmates gather and show them the smile they know and hated so much.

It wasn't a secret that they were annoyed by him, after all, why would anyone not be annoyed by him?

He was rude and a liar. A good liar, but telling people he lied was much more fun.

Then something broke from his normal routine. 

A boy with dark blue hair stepped into class and stood next to the teachers pult.

A new student? He didn't think that anyone would join this late in the semester.

To his surprise the boy left the room again after a few minutes. 

What was the meaning behind that now?

Maybe Kokichi was just starting to go completely crazy.

With few to almost no interest he listened to the stuff the teacher was trying to get into their brains.

That was was spinning through his mind. Who tf was that guy?

....

....

A loud ringing made his head pop up and a grin to spread. It was finally over. Kokichi couldn't help but to sprint right to the door.

That his teacher was yelling after him was ignored by the purple haired boy.

All he wanted to do now was go to his dorm room and take a fucking nap.

As he wanted to spin the keys he noticed something strange. His door was unlocked.

He never kept his door open, for many various reasons. Kokichi knew that he locked it this morning.

With a silent noise the door swung open and the boy from earlier stood there.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't be mad when it's a little ooc..

You!"

Good comment, but his brain wasn't really able to progress what his eyes where looking at.

"Hey blueberry bitch, get out of my room."

Why tf was this boy in his room. He obviously didn't belong in there. Kokichi didn't invite or put him in there.

OK now it sounded like the boy was some kind of furniture...

"I'm Saihara Shuichi and well, I was being told that uhm.. I should share this room with uhm.."

He started to fumble around a piece of paper to read what was written on it.

"Oma K-Kokichi?"

"Is that a question or a statement?" 

Kokichi lifted an eyebrow and did a quick check of his body. For further use of course.

"Well well, seams like you got the wrong dorm partner"

Kokichi was snickering and snipped Schuichi against his shoulder. Truth been told, he wasn't happy. Not at all. Not in the slightest bit.

His head searched for a way how he would be able to keep his panic attacks and nightmares a secret.

Of course he couldn't find one. He was fucked.

"Btw, I'm not Oma Kokichi, ur in the fucking wrong room. I switched dorms with him a while ago, so thats why your keys are wrong too."

Kokichi did the only thing he knew he would master in this situation. Lie.

"W-What? Uhm.. Then.. Who are you?"

"Amami Rantar. And by the way, your room is 503, down the hallway and then left."

He knew that he was evil. That room belonged to Miu, and he also knew dang well that around this time.. Uhm .. She would be busy doing.. stuff..

Shortly after the blueberry bitch left his room, kokichi literally sprinted through his room and hid all the things that nobody was ever allowed to see.

He also prayed to atua that Shuichi hadn't seen them yet.

It didn't take long till Shuichi came back into the room. His left cheek was red and a little bit swollen from, what Kokichi imagined, a slap.

"You little.."

His voice was deep and kinda angry.

A little shudder ran down Kokichi's spine and he looked up to the taller male.

"Nishishi~ It was a lie"

"Thanks to you I gat a slap and now I am known as a pervert. Thank u very much I little piece of... Whatever. Just leave me in peace."

OK, Kokichi had to say that he didn't expect him to calm down so fast. 

"Oh Shumai~"

He sat down next to him and looked up with fake guilty eyes.

"Don't call me that."

Shuichi stood up and leaned himself against the wall. 

"It's my first day and you already hate me? Why? Why tf, tell me!"

What was that in his eyes? They looked sad, but in an unusual way.

"Oh Shumai, I could never hate you.."

With confident steps he stood in front of Shuichi, his one hand against the wall, looking up at the taller male.

"That's a lie."

He wasn't wrong there..

"Well I think we could get along well.. Don't you think?"

His fingers slowly made his way up his throat and gripped his chin firmly, making him look down into his eyes.

"Play my game Shuichi. If you win, I won't play any tricks at you."

"What tf are you doing?! Get away from me."

With a strong push Kokichi was literally thrown onto his bed and hit his head on it.

"Don't you dare touch me again. Don't bother me. I know damn well that I don't want to get along with you."

The door slammed shut behind him and Kokichi was holding his pounding head.

"Oh Shumai~.. You will pay for this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. Second chapter there? And I am kinda proud..


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mention of suicide and panic attack's, please be careful🖤

Kokichi's clock was showing that it just turned 11 pm. Not that it was late for him yet.

Shuichi hasn't come back till now.

Kokichi was sitting on his bed, playing games on his phone.

His thought's drifted to the taller male. He left really angry... Maybe he overdid it this time?

No.

With a slap on his cheeks he looked back on his clock, not that a big amount of time just passed.

"Whatever, do what you want you dumb blueberry.."

Kokichi covered himself in his blanket and turned the lights down. Normally he wouldn't go to bed that early, but today he felt exhausted for various reasons.

At 12:34 the front door started to rumble and was opened. Not that Kokichi looked at the clock every few minutes, he totally didn't do that!

Shuichi went through the dark room in the direction of the bath. It wasn't allowed to be called bath at all.. There were only a sink and a toilet in there.

Then a bright stream of light hit Kokichi's eyes, because his bed was opposite of the bath. It hurt and with a grumble he buried his face deeper in his pillow.

"Atua in heaven above... Bitch turn the fucking light down!"

Wasn't like Kokichi would be sleeping anyway but it still wasn't pleasant in his eyes.

"Oh, I see you're still up.."

Truth been told, it sounded like he was almost angry or sad about that fact.

"Yeah I am still up. Problem with that Shumai~?"

"I'll repeat myself, don't call me that Kokichi."

He just rolled his eyes up in his pillow and muffled something that could have been taken as an agreement and a disagreement at the same time.

After that the light was finally switched off again. Kokichi couldn't help but to take a sneak peek at the taller male on his way to bed.

A shiver ran down his spine as his eyes fixed on the person that was standing in front of his bed now.

Glowing yellow eyes in the spare light which came through under the door. They seemed to literally swallow him in his gaze, he just couldn't look away.

"Kokichi. I will say this once and once only. I am Saihara Shuichi, the ultimate detective, and I won't let any evil sepreme leader, not matter how powerful, put me down. I hope you understand that."

And for a second Kokichi was breathless, he literally held his breath the hole time. Of course he would never let that show, his pokerface was perfect after all.

"Nishishi, as if I would let a detective stomp on me. You will bend down and kiss my feet in no time sweet little Shumai~"

"Before that I'll commit suicide."

Harsh statement. His heart dropped almost a bit, but just almost.

"I hope you sleep well Kokichi"

How? How could he just say something so harsh and in the next second be that fucking friendly. 

The purple haired boy turned around and hid under his blanket. 'Stupid boy...'

...  
...  
...

No matter how much he wished for it, of course he wouldn't be spared from his nightmares.

One thing let to another and after little time Kokichi was sitting straight in his bed. His heart was racing as if he was running a Marathon and his body was trembling and covered in sweat. 

A few quiet sobs passed his lips, but were muffled by his hand that was pressing against his mouth, helping him not to throw up here and now.

It was no use hiding his sobs, as they grew louder and louder, slowly turning into quiet screams of pure panic.

"Ko-... Kokichi?"

He wasn't even able to hear that somebody was talking to him, all he heard was the voices and scenes in his mind.

And then the trigger was pulled by Shuichi. He stood up and touched Kokichi's arm, trying to calm the little shaking boy.

"Don't fucking touch me!"

Kokichi screamed on top of his lungs. With a powerful hit Shuichi was practically thrown across the room and Kokichi sat trembling in the corner of the room.

His nails digging into his pale skin as he mumbled insults to himself. "Dumb boy. Be good. Be a good boy. Help him. Help me. I don't want to.. Don't want to... Get the fuck away from me!"

At this point he wasn't trembling anymore, he was a crying and shaking mess. He couldn't think straight anymore.

It was too much...


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mention of cuts, unhealty weight and vomit

Shuichi was holding his pounding head. This little grape boy surely didn't look as powerful as he was after all.

"Kokichi?"

His eyes slowly comforted in the darkness and searched for Kokichi. The other male sat hunched over in a corner and was shaking and scratching himself violently.

It was nothing Shuichi had ever experienced before. The panic inside to boys eyes, his senseless blubbering, his nails, digging deeply into his pale skin.

He slowly stood up, still a bit uneasy on his legs from the push and made his way over to Kokichi.

"Hey, Kokichi... It's me ... Shuichi.."

The boy tried to talk to him in the calmest voice that he could manage. His hand reached out far enough that Shuichi would see it, but still leaving a small distance between them.

The smaller boys eyes were all foggy from the tears and anxiety that was rushing through his fragile body.

He would have never noticed under normal circumstances, but in this situation, and with kokichi's in fear half torn shirt, it was obvious how thin the other male was. Almost unhealthy thin.

"Sh..u..ich..i.."

It was more bubbling than real words, but it was a start. They could work from there.

"Do you think you can handle taking my hand..?"

The purple haired boy lifted his head, nails still dug into his skin, leaving red marks. 

"..si-ck..."

First Shuichi couldn't understand the meaning behind that little word, but when Kokichi started pressing one hand on his stomach and one hand over his mouth, he new where this was going.

In the blink of a second Shuichi grabbed the poor boy and carried him in the bath just in time so Kokichi could throw up into the toilet.

Truth been told, this whole situation was a bit much for him, but as he heard the smaller whimpers in between the splashes of vomit, he couldn't help but hold Kokichi's hair back and draw circles on his back.

"We can do this... You will be alright..."

...  
...  
...

After what seemed like an eternity Kokichi finally stopped vomiting out his gut and sank down in front of the toilet. Only Shuichi's firm grip prevented him from completely laying on the floor.

Shuichi couldn't even tell if Kokichi was still conscious. 

"Let's get you cleaned up.."

With ease he picked up the fragile boy and took one of his towels on the wait out.

Inside the thanked god that no one was out here that late. Would be kind of a weird scenery...

In the shower room he carefully put Kokichi down and started stripping his dirty clothes off. The fact that his 3 - size - too - big shirt was slightly ripped in the front made it easier for him to pull it over his head.

The real scare came when he removed his long pants, who even whore long winter pants in summer? Underneath the thin layer of fabric, his legs were covered in scars. Not really fresh ones but some didnt look that old either.

Shuichi inhaled sharply and just couldn't bring himself to look away. This scenery here didn't fit to what his classmates told him about Kokichi.

In their mouth he was a always happy and cheerful boy with a foul mouth with a habit of lying and annoying others. This boy wasn't anything like that.

"Kokichi... Just who are you..?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it's a bit out of character I'm really sorry.. I'm giving my best! 🖤

When Shuichi woke up in the morning, his first gaze shot over to Kokichi's bed. It was empty and looked like it hadn't been used for at least some hours.

Yawning he made his way to comp his hair and brush his teeth. A little bit from the shock from last night was still burried deep inside him.

He looked so vulnerable...

"Oh! Good morning Shuichi! On your way into the dining hall?"

Kaede placed a hand on his shoulder as she caught up with him in the floor.

"Yeah well I guess? My stomach arches for some food."

A faint smile appeared on his lips as he pushed open the doors to the dining hall. Everyone sat there with a cheerful expression and discussed various topics.

Only three seats were unused and that make him somehow uncomfortable. 

"Uhm.. Kaede... Where is Kokichi?"

"He never eats breakfast or lunch with us. Either he eats before or after as, but we never saw him here..."

The comment hurt like a stab in the gut. Was that why Kokichi was so fragile and thin? Didn't he eat enough?

With determination he slipped a breadbun and an apple into his bag and left after his own breakfast for class.

Kokichi sat there alone, almost lost in his thoughts. The moment he recognized Shuichi tho, he grinned and leaned back.

"Oh look who's coming in here early.. Wanna be a teachers pet hmm? Neheehee~"

He looked almost as if he wouldn't remember last night at all. But, but how would he be able to forget such a horrible scenery?

Maybe he didnt forget, but didn't want to remember it... Could that be it?

"Your sitting here too Kokichi, don't forget that."

A cheeky smile appeared on the smaller boys face, but for a second, maybe it was just a twitch in his eyes, but for a second it looked almost sad. As if he had to keep his smile on. As if he has been doing it for too long.

With a shrug he brushed it off for now, after all his classmates continued to appear in the classroom.

...  
...  
...

With a small headache he left after the last subject and was happy to finally get some food. His stomach has been growling for about the last half an hour.

It also wasn't that surprising that Kokichi wasn't in the dining hall. By now he was sure that the smaller male hadn't eaten anything till now.

With his best effort on not being suspicious he wrapped a few small cookies into a paper towel and put it into his bag.

"See you later Kaede, Maki, Miu!"

He waved the three girls and he eagerly made his was to his room. As if he already had known it, Kokichi was laying on his bed, head in front a book, completely sunken into it.

"Kokichi. Did you eat till now?"

Maybe a direct question was the best way to ask?

"Sure I did Shumai ~.. Why? Were you worried about me? Neheehee my beloved Shumai is worried!"

OK a direct question wasn't the best way. Instead he pulled to bun, the apple and the cookies out of his bag.

By the sight of it Kokichi's stomach instantly started to let out a loud growl.

"You didn't really eat..did you?"

This time Shuichi's question was much softer. Slowly he sat down on Kokichi's bed, next to his legs.

"Is it any of your business blueberry bitch.?"

Now Kokichi's defense was obviously triggered. 

"Please eat it."

The other males eyes were still fixed on the little bits of food in front of him. He gulped audible and reached with shaky hands out to grab a cookie.

Shuichi has started to rub little circles onto the boys thighs, encouraging him to take a bite.

The pink eyed Boy lifted a cookie and then looked over to Shuichi.

"Why are you being so nice to me? I pranked you yesterday and annoyed you in the evening... Why are you suddenly being nice? Did you sleep weird or something like that?"

So he really didn't remember at all.

"I just noticed you not being in the dinning hall and figured you maybe didn't feel that well and brought you some snacks."

Why was Shuichi lying? He could have told him about the panic attack.. No he should not.

It would only be triggering for Kokichi to hear about it again.

With slow motions the grape boy started to eat and even let Shuichi caress his thigh while he did so.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its a bit shorter but I liked the cut of the chapter. Please be careful as the trigger warnings from before still apply here!

"So now tell me. Why would you care about me?"

Everything about this situation here was just so surreal. Shuichi on his bed caressing his thigh softly, bringing him food, care for him? Couldn't be possible.

He didn't even deserve something like that at all. Kokichi was a liar and a bad person in general. That type that people tell others to stay away from.

"Well.. I saw things and now I am kinda worried.."

Kokichi's blood froze for a second. Could he have seen his stuff animals that he carefully his under his bed? Or the pills in his closet that he was supposed to take? 

"What did you see?"

His words came out way more shaky than he wanted to, but he couldn't help it now. A cookie piece slipped past his lips and he munched on it longer than needed. Maybe this empty feeling in his stomach would be tricked by it and go away faster.

"Uhm... It probably won't be the best if I tell you that... At least right now."

What the hell was that supposed to mean? It was something about him so he clearly had the right to hear him.

"Tell me bitch, I command it, I'm the ultimate supreme leader after all. One call and my peasants will wipe you out with ease. Now open your dirty mouth. Go on!"

The way his voice slowly started to twitch up didn't help in making him sound intimidating.

"Kokichi i really don't think th- .... Hm.. Whatever. I'll tell you."

Kokichi was more than pleased with himself for still being able to get what he wanted.

"No talk"

The smaller boy leaned back and lifted the blanket higher to warm his freezing body.

"Don't say I didn't want you.. Well.. Uhm.. I think you had a panic attack yesterday..."

The pink eyes started to widen in fear. He had please what?! In front of Shuichi? And why couldn't he remember it at all?!

"I tried to calm you but... You kinda pushed me away and hid there in the corner... Started mumbling nonesence and scratched urself.."

Kokichi's face started to grew ever paler, if that was possible at all and he gripped tight onto the bed sheets.

"Well I couldn't just let you.. Go trough it alone.. Uhm.. You know..? So I uhm... Oh yeah you felt sick and I carried you into the bath so you could throw up there..."

Shuichi saw him like that... Shuichi saw him like that... Shuichi saw him like that...

"You passed out after that and.. I carried you into the shower room to kinda pat you down with a wet tower to.. Uhm.. You know, get rid of the vomit smell n stuff...and I saw..."

Shuichis fingers starting caressing his thighs again and then it hit Kokichi. He saw his scars. He saw everything...

His legs flinched and he quickly moved away from the blue haired.

"You.. Y-you did not! Forget it.. I dare you to tell anyone! I will destroy y-you and y-your l-life.. I-i-i.. W-will..."

His throat started to burn and his sight went all blurry. Tears rolled down his now pinkish cheeks and a sob escaped his lips.

"Hey.. Kokichi.."

Shuichi's voice was very soft as he slowly laid a hand on the fragile boys cheek. His thumb swiping away the big teardrops that rolled down.

Kokichi wasn't even sure why he was crying. Maybe it was the embarassment, maybe it was this feeling of being so goddamn helpless...

"Shh calm down Kichi..."

Wait.. Did he just..?

"D-Did you just call me Kichi?"

A small giggle escaped his lips and he looked up so his pink eyes could meet Shuichis golden ones. 

"Your not so stupid as i imagined you to be.."

Kokichi's face flushed a bright pink and so did Shuichi's. Both of them not being able to look away from the others eyes.

"Uhm yeah.. I.. Promised Maki to hang with em so... I gotta go.."

With that Shuichi literally sprinted out of the room and all that was left was Kokichi and the cold darkness that he was sinking back into.


	7. Chapter 7

It was late afternoon as Shuichi made his way back to his dorm room. The movie he watched with the others had been more than boring and he regretted not having stayed with his purple troll.

On the other side had the moment been more than awkward and he had also been happy to get out of it so easy. Maybe he shouldn't have left so abruptly either..?

Deep in his thoughts he unlocked the door and slowly walked in. It was very dark on the inside, maybe because Kokichi closed all the curtains..

"Hey..."

He didn't get an answer and only when his eyes slowly started to get comfortable with the sudden darkness, he saw that Kokichi was sleeping. Cuddled under his own and Shuichi's blanket and with stuffies all over it.

It was cuter than literally everything he had seen up until now. As he leaned in closer to the smaller boy, he had to hold back a soft cooing.

Despite the many blankets he was still shivering a bit in his sleep, but the cute thing he could barely handle looking at was what he was doing unintentionally in his sleep.

Beside the fact the he was cuddling with one of his hoodies that he left on his bed, he was also sucking on his thumb like it was some kind of comfort for him.

A blush spread over Shuichi's cheeks and made it's way down his neck. He really shouldn't stare at his roommate like that. How rude of him.

Even tho he wanted to look at this little angel forever, he turned away and decided to study and do some homework for class next week. He even tried to be as quiet as possible to not wake the little boy up.

"Shu..i..chi?"

A soft whimper made his head turn to the bed instantly. Kokichi sat in his bed, eyes still half closed, hoodie still tightly pressed against his chest, thumb still halfway in his mouth. It was adorable.

"Yes Kokichi?"

Shuichi turned his chair to the purple head and smiled softly.. Well he tried at least.

After that Kokichi slowly started to wake up, that was very visible because the more he opened his eyes and realized what he was doing, the a deep flush of blush appeared on his face and neck.

"Y-you didn't.. You didn't see anything.. Ugh.. Ugh... Ooof.. Fuck you!"

"Fuck me?"

Kokichi.exe. has stopped working, that was literally written in his face. Shuichi couldn't really help but snicker at the face his gremlin was making right now.

"Neheehee.. You really thought that was really? I just tricked you Shumai ~"

That was a lie. The twitch of the corner of his mouth gave it away. After all he really was the ultimate detective.

"If you say so baka-kun..."

"Yeah I... Wait.. Did you just call me an idiot?!"

Shuichi laughed quietly as Kokichi's slightly pissed of face. He just couldn't let such a chance slip away.

A quiet dong made Shuichi look up. 

"What was that for?"

Kokichi suddenly started rubbing his arm awkwardly and looked away.

"Dinner's ready..."

Now Shuichi understood why he was starting to get so uncomfortable all of sudden. Kokichi knew that he saw him half naked and that he saw how thin he was. Maybe ... He was embarrassed of his own mental condition. Why didn't he ask for some help then..?

"Well that let's go and eat?"

Kokichi looked up with something that almost looked like horror in his eyes and fiddled anxious on his fingers.

"I...I rather not.. I ate before.. The cookies and half the bun.. Remember?"

It was a weak excuse and Shuichi knew it. 

"Kichi.."

Shuichi leaned forward and put his fingers under his chin, caressed his cheek with his thumb.

".. I am worried about you, you know? Even if you don't eat, please come and sit with me during dinner..?"

"Are you asking me out on a.. Date? Oh Shumai, how nice of you"

A cheeky fake grin appeared on Kokichi's cheeks. 

"Well then, who wouldn't be blessed with my appearance?"

The grape boy stood up and even tho he fake smiled and lied, Shuichi couldn't help but feel delighted that he even came to the dinner.

With slow steps both boys made their way down to the dining hall. Shuichi making sure that he even sat next to Kokichi.

"Oh, did the 'supreme leader' decide to finally show up? Oh what a blessing"

Miu giggled from across the table and the fact that Kokichi stiffened didn't go unnoticed by Shuichi.

"To be true I rather have him not being here, it was so peaceful after he started to not come down.."

Kaito let out a sigh and started to eat his soup that stood in front of him.

"Agreed... But we can't just throw him out the dining hall either, even if he is annoying as hell"

Kokichi had been clawing his finger in his lose pants during the whole time.

"Well well, too bad, now you all are blessed with me being here, oh I know you all just looooveee meee~ neheehee~"

Why didn't anyone else notice how face it sounded just now? Didn't anyone recognize the sad tone in his voice? Maybe they just didn't care.

"Let's just eat!"

At least gonta was a pure gentlemam as always.

Shuichi slowly started to put his hand on Kokichi's, which made the poor boy flinch and look at him instantly.

"It's fine"

Shuichi mouthed these words silently and Kokichi relaxed again slowly. He even took the others hand with a firm grip and how stupid it will sound... Shuichi could feel how hard it was for him to hold up his facade. How difficult it was to even sit here and listen to everyone.

And that was the point where Shuichi made a promise to himself.

//No matter what will come, I won't ever let Kokichi alone again. I'll protect him.//


	8. Chapter 8

Kokichi was laying on his bed. No, he was literally spread over it and looking up.

'Why are you so fucking soft? Get a grip man.'

He couldn't help but agree with his inner self, he turned way to soft and let all these people talk down on him. Shuichi.. No. This guy just wanted to own him. To be able to step on him.

Subconsciously the grape boy started to chew on his bottom lip.

"Kokichi do you want an apple?"

Shuichi came into the room and smiled while holding out the fruit.

'Don't step on me. Don't look down on me.'

"Did I order you for food? No I guess not so who gave you permission to talk to me, the ultimate supreme leader?"

It sounded way more harsh than he wanted it too, but he couldn't take it back either.

"Uhm..i-i..."

Shuichi's hand started to sink down and he looked at the purple haired boy with confusion.

"Kokichi what's wrong?"

'Nothings wrong you...'

"Oh? Did you really think I was that fucking weak? Did my Shumai really think that? Neheehee you idiot."

His smile was degrading and almost mean.

"I played with you bitch. They don't call me the ultimate liar for no reason hehe.."

Shuichi's face fell down. He looked as if he was trying to find the lie in the lie that Kokichi was telling. But he couldn't find it. The skills were too good.

"Oh I played a panic attack so that I would get to know all your little weak spots my sweet sweet shumai~ And now I clearly know them so I have no further use for trash like you."

"You.. You don't mean that.. Right? Where is the Kokichi I knew...?"

'The weak, dumb, disgusting boy you knew..'

"Get it into your stupid head. You never knew me in the first place, I just toyed with you."

He had gotten up and stabbed his finger into Shuichi's chest.

"If you really think you knew me, you're wrong. You never did my beloved Shumai"

With a push Shuichi fell onto the chair and Kokichi sat down onto his lap.

"Is that what you want from me? I know guys like you. Oh, are you getting hard Shuichi? Neheehee~ You really are so perverted. Too bad. I am not gay."

Kokichi could feel that it was hard for Shuichi to progress so much information at once.

"You.. Are.. Not. ? Wait! I doesn't matter. I am not either. Get off me."

A chuckle slipped past Kokichi's lips. 

"Oh boy, you gonna pretent to not be into dudes when you clearly have a boner just from me sitting in your lap? Neheehee how bad of a liar you are."

"I am not gay, now get off me!"

Second later Kokichi was laying on the floor, looking up to Shuichi. His golden eyes were filled with sadness and a single tear slipped past his long lashes.

"The others were right. Maybe I should just ignore you... Because... You are not worthy of any trust and comfort you goddamn liar!"

Shuichi snapped and left the room with big, hasty steps.

All that was left was Kokichi, still laying there. He couldn't move, his brain not wanting to progress that he just fucked up again.

"I fucking knew it. He left too..."

Kokichi stood up and swept his hand over his slightly damp cheek, patting it dry.

'Head up. It's better that way after all.'


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He turned a bit into a stalker.. Uhm.. Oopsi?

The second the door fell closed the regret started to creep up on him. He just told his maybe crush that he wasn't worth to be loved?!

Oh Atua, a person can't do worse than that right? His fingers rubbed over his temples to calm his nerves and brain cells a bit.

But.. How could Kokichi be that different all of sudden? Was he always like that and he just didn't realize it? No. He was the ultimate detective after all, he would just have to look at him like a case.

First thing was gathering information and maybe it wasn't the best idea, but an idea was starting to bloom in his brain.

His steps echoed in the empty corridor as he made his way down to kaede's and Miu's dorm room. A loud knock filled the silence and seconds later the door was opened. The two girls were standing in front of him.

"I need your help."

"Huh? Uhm Shuichi what's wrong?"

Kaede was very understanding and got that something wasn't right at all.

"Need sum fuck?"

Miu was as blunt as always and grinned over Kaedes shoulder up to Shuichi.

"No. I need you two to help me break into the headmasters archive."

A shocked expression appeared on their faces.

"Oooh.. A bad boy, that really hot Shuichi you know?"

Miu got a punch from kaede in her side for that comment.

"What do you need in the archive? Is it important? You could be thrown out of the school for this."

Shuichi was quiet for a second. Yeah, the possibility that they would be caught and thrown out was high, but he was willing to take it if it meant that he would get the information he needed.

"It's important to me, you don't need to come if it's too risky for you two of course."

Then there was a small silence again, before Miu spoke up.

"I'm gonna help you detective. Let me pick the lock."

"I'll help too! I'll watch out if anyone is coming and warn you guys."

Shuichi smiled and gave them a tight hug, even if it was a bit awkward to be pressed against boobies.

"You just wanted to feel my breast, be honest...after all you still-"

"Miu!"

...  
...  
...

It was around 1 am when they started with their plan. Getting into the school at night wasn't that big of a problem because some study groups still worked that late. 

"I'll stand here and cough loudly when someone is coming into the corridor OK?"

Kaede smiled sweety and leaned against the wall.

Miu and Shuichi nodded silently and made their way to the heavy looking wooden door of the archive.

"Let me handle it and stare at my delicious ass while I pick the lock shuichi~"

Miu was as calm and direct as always and bent down while she pulled a nail clipper out of her bra.

"You store that stuff in there..?"

"You looked?"

Shuichi's face flushed and he quickly turned his head away.

"O-Of course not."

"Sure sure~"

She got to work and not even 2 minutes later the door swung open with a quiet 'click'.

The smell off old paper, files and books greeted them as they made their way in. 

"We need the student files of our class. More exactly I need Kokichi's."

"What... Why would you want to know anything about that lying fucker?"

"Reasons."

With that the conversation was closed for now and the searched through the shelf of files.

"I think I got it. Ouma Kokichi right?"

Shuichi snatched the file from her dirty hand and went over to a chair in the corner of the archive.

"So my beloved little liar, let's get all the info I need to know about you..."


	10. Chapter 10

*I was running again. Why was I even running? I forgot that I did it. I couldn't stop, just had to move on.

Where was I? I could see the grass under my moving feet and the wind that was blowing through my hair.

"Kokichi!"

I turned in circles. Why couldn't I find the source of that voice?

"Kokichi!!"

It was getting louder and almost unpleasant.

"Kokichi come here."

A shudder ran down my spine. That deep voice, where was he? Why was he here?!

"Go away!"

My feet carried me even fast over the grass but stopped abruptly as there was a cliff.

One more step and I would fall and probably break all of my bones. My body spun around to search for the person behind the voice from before. Nobody was there.

"Kokichi..."

My face turned forward again just to meet golden eyes. Shuichi's eyes.

He was standing on the edge of the cliff. One more step and he would fall and probably break all of his bones.

"I knew that you hated me."

"Shuichi the cliff!"

"You are not worth of any love"

Tears flooded down my eyes but I was unable to move, unable to move an inch of my body.

"Please no! Shuichi be careful!"

"Isn't that what you wanted?"

I was pushed to the ground and sat there, crying and on my knees.

My head was yanked up by a hand gripping in my hair and pulling.

Why was I looking into my own face?

"You pushed the only person away that tried to help you. It's been years over years since someone tried that. What did he get in return? Lies. He got lies over lies because you can't swallow your goddamn pride and show that you can't be strong. You can't always be on top. Look at yourself Kokichi! You are a fucking mess. You can't eat, can't sleep, you cut yourself and still try to smile at everyone. Isn't it exhausting? Why won't you just let it out? He is there! He will hold you! Let down your goddamn pride you idiot!"

My eyes were blurry and tears were dropping from my chin to the ground.

"Try it. All I'll do is leave. Leave you alone like everybody else did before me! How would anyone be able to just be around you? You are so goddamn annoying! I can't stand your companion!"

My voice was shaky from all the tears as I slowly raised my voice.

"..You are not Shuichi. You are not that beautiful boy I got to know! You are nothing but a bitchy copy trying to fake it's way into my mind.."

I slowly stood up and walked over to that Shuichi on the edge of the cliff.

"Shuichi ... I like him but you are not him. Not a tiny bit, you are just a copy ...Get the hell away!!!"

With a strong push Shuichi was gone.. Falling off the cliff.. Ready to die.

But then there was an absence of ground under my own feet. I was falling. Falling way down.. I screamed on top of my lunghs and prepared to slam against the ground.*

Kokichi was met with the same golden eyes the he saw just seconds before, but this time there were real and full of calmness.

"Kokichi calm down. Breath."

He hadn't realized that he was hyperventilating. He hadn't realized that he was in Shuichi's lap. He hadn't realized that he was clinging onto him tightly.

"Get away from me..." 

It was a weak statement but better than nothing right?

"Did you have another nightmare?"

Just as he was ready to lie and tell him that a 'supreme leader wouldn't have nightmares, he stopped.

His dream came up and suddenly he felt the urging need to let Shuichi know that he wasn't...couldn't be strong right now.

"Yes.."

Nothing more than that word left his lips, before he laid his head against Shuichi's chest.

"I am sorry for what I said earlier... I.. I was out of my goddamn mind, I really shouldn't have said that..."

Kokichi's vision blurred and he closed his eyes, slowly drowning in the warmth that Shuichi's body was spreading.

"I hope you can forgive me one day.. I really want us to get along...I..real..ly..do..l."

That was the last point that his mind was working, the darkness swallowing him completely and only the warmth of Shuichi saving him from drifting into another nightmare.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: cuts, mention of hanging and abuse mention

It was around 2 am and Shuichi was sitting in the archive, reading Kokichi's student file. Mouth open and a shocked expression on his face.

"What's so shocking cocksucker?"

Miu appeared behind him and took a peak over his shoulder in the file.

Shuichi was too much into the reading as to care about her question. He just wanted what he was reading to be wrong and nothing more than a bad joke.

"Woah dude Kokichi got adopted? Does the file say everything about the past?"

It clearly held the whole information about one student. From the personal facts and date all the way to a whole life story and it was very accurate.

'Not only that.. His mother hanged herself in front of him and his father blamed and hit him.. He.. even abused him multiple times..'

Shuichi held silent about this part and closed the file before Miu could see more, not wanting to spill so much of Kokichi's past to her. It was enough if one knew about it all.

"I know enough. We can go bitch-chan."

"Good let's... Did you just call me a bitch?!"

He shushed her quickly but seconds after that loud coughing filled the air, and it surely wasn't one of the two. Kaede.

Panic appeared in their eyes as they fled to the window, it was in the basement after all. With quick moves they made their way out the window and sprinted over the cut grass to the front entrance where the meeting point with kaede was after all.

She stood there with a panicked look, but calmed when she saw the two of them come her way.

"The cleaning lady hushed me out of the hall and I was really worried about you two you know?"

Slowly she began to smile and giggle. 

"I never did something so dangerous like that! It was great! Let's do it again.. Like.. Break something!"

Shuichi couldn't help but chuckle at that comment. Kaede looked like a little butterfly telling a bear that she wanted to beat him up. It was funny.

"Let's go to sleep first Kaede. Thanks to you I got the information."

They split up after this and Shuichi made his way back to his dorm room. He was treated with an unlocked door and sighed at the thought of Kokichi forgetting to look it again.

One step into the room he could sence that something wasn't right at all. Kokichi was nowhere and panic slowly started to creep up in. It was just a feeling but he started to search in the room and and came to the locked bath door.

"Kokichi! Open up!"

He practically threw his body against the door and after the third time to door slung open with a loud noise.

His blood froze. Kokichi was lying on the ground. Pink blood slowly dripping. He heard the drops hitting the floor with steady pace.

The soft fingertips of the purple haired boy holding on to a blood stained razor blade.

"You idiot!"

Shuichi dropped to his knees and moved his head into his lap before he searched under the sink for bandages and some washcloths.

With careful fingers he bandaged up his thighs and left arm.

"I am so sorry.. I.. I feel so guilty.."

Tears creeped out of his eyes and dropped onto the floor with a steady pace.

"You mean so much too me you goddamn liar!"

His body was a shaking mess as he lifted himself of the floor.

Step by step his body moved over to his own wardrobe to get a shirt and some comfy pants, before he peeled the dirty clothes off of Kokichi.

It was the second time that he was cleaning the fragile boy, it was almost becoming a habit.

"I am here with you Kokichi.. I won't leave your side.."

Ten minutes later both of them laid in Shuichi's bed, Kokichi in his lap with his head against his lap.

The smaller males shaking increased all of sudden and for the first second he really didnt know what to do. A humming was noticeable and the blue haired boy slowly rocked back and forth.

Kokichi's breath started to hitch and got faster while nails dug into the front of Shuichi's shirt.  
He tried his best to keep a calm voice and suddenly his golden eyes met big pink ones.

"Kokichi calm down. Breath."

The boy really took a few deep breath before he started to realize the situation he was in.

"Get away from me..." 

Shuichi kept his calm, he would let go of the poor shivering boy after all right now.

"Did you have another nightmare?"

It was clear to him that he would got something along the lines of 'a 'supreme leader wouldn't have nightmares', but then Kokichi's expression suddenly went soft, almost as of he left some of his weakness slip.

"Yes.."

With this little word it was done. Shuichi was falling. Falling deep for this little grape boy and there was no return.

"I am sorry for what I said earlier... I.. I was out of my goddamn mind, I really shouldn't have said that..."

He took a deep breath and softly brushed his thumb over the smaller boys cheek.

"I hope you can forgive me one day.. I really want us to get along...I..really..do.. I may.. I may have fallen for you Ouma Kokichi and I dunno how to handle it. I never felt the need to.. Love.. But right now.. All I want is to be on your side and protect you.. Is.. Is that what people call love..? Or a.. Crush? Ugh.. Hey.. Are you..you fell asleep.."

Shuichi looked down on the peaceful expression that was noticeable on the purple haired boy. He didn't know if Kokichi understood everything he said, but I would have to wait till the next morning.

Carefully, to not wake up his beloved little liar, he shoved back and laid down, so that Kokichi could comfortably rest on his chest. And to Shuichi's surprise he never slept better in his life before...


	12. Chapter 12

It was a rainy and very sleepy morning when Kokichi's eyes slowly started to open. Dark clouds were gathered at the grey sky that could be seen outside the window.

His motions were lazy and it took him a lot of effort to even keep his eyes from closing again. Something kept him from sitting up tho. Pink cloudy pupils looked over to a sleeping boy with bluish hair.

Shuichi was kinda spooning him?! Suddenly his entire brain was very awake. Yeah Shuichi definitely had his arm around him in a protecting manner. 

The memories from last night came flashing back and he could feel the bandages on his arm and legs. Did.. Did he really bandage him up? He found him..

Slowly the panic that Shuichi would hate him started to creep up in him. 

"Your shivering again Kokichi..."

Shuichi's raw morning voice sent chills and shivers down his spine. 

"I'm just doing some morning sport.."

"Liar..Calm down.. Shh.."

He sounded very sleepy, as if he was to fall asleep any second. The blanket was kicked away and Shuichi's lips now hovered over Kokichi's sensitive neck.

This still felt like a fucking dream..  
What the hell was happening here?

Soft, almost non existing kisses were placed on his neck and in that moment his brain started to melt into a puddle.

"I am by your side my beloved little liar"

'My..m-my beloved?!'

He clearly missed something last night, but he didn't give a damn about it right now.

"Shuichi..."

The grape boy spun around and sat on top of Shuichi. Looking down into his yellowish-golden eyes almost made him lose his words.

"Yes? What's wrong?"

The words sounded more like a teasing than a question.

Kokichi's hand found his way to Shuichi's shirt collar and pulled on it. Only a few millimeter separated their lips from finally touching.

"Hey mister detective, what would you do if I kiss you now? Neheehee, would yo-"

Shuichi's hand behind Kokichi's head pulling him closer, closing the few millimeter and let their lips crash onto each other.

The time stopped. Everything went blanc inside the shorter boys head. Lips were being moved against each other in an almost desperate neediness.

It was his first kiss and it made his whole body unable to move even an inch. Only his hands slowly made their way up to Shuichi's cheeks, bringing him as close as possible.

A loud knocking broke the silence and made both boys jolt in shock. The door clicked and was opened.

Shuichi quickly stumbled in what was meant to be Kokichi's bed and named was throwing a blanket completely over himself.

Kaede glanced around the corner and smiled as she saw that Shuichi was already up.

"Hey Shuichi, I didn't hear of you said 'come in' so I just wanted to look."

"Y-Yeah I was about to say that.."

The blue haired boy tried his best to hide his pink swollen lips and his bed head messed up hair.

"You look flushed? Are you getting a fever? Well.. I just wanted to get you for breakfast uhm... So.. Maybe you come later? We will wait for you!"

Another smile appeared on her cheeks as she left the room and the door clicked behind her.

"Well that was close.. How exciting don't you think Shumai~?"

He chuckled and kicked the blanket off again, before he swung his legs off the bed and shakingly stood up.

"Take it easy OK? I don't want any cut to open up again"

Shuichi talked with such a calmness in his voice that regret for his action immediately started to creep up on his.

"I will..hey uhmm.. Do you have a hoodie for me Shu-Shu?"

Confusion was written into Shuichi's eyes as he nodded and started to look for one in his closet.

Not even 5 minutes later Kokichi stood there with some lose pants and Shuichi's a few sizes too big hoodie. Happiness, true happiness warmed his heart as he lifted the sleeve and carefully pushed his nose into the good smelling piece of clothing.

"Are you sniffing my hoodie?"

"Could be..maybe I am and maybe not, only Atua would know."

A little smile appeared on Kokichi's cheeks as he started yo flap the overly long sleeves up and down.

"Wanna go and eat breakfast with me?"

Shuichi held out a hand to the grape boy and gave a him a real, heartburning smile. 

How could Kokichi say no to this? It wasn't a question anymore, it was a statement where a no wasn't tolerated.

"I even promise to not get an apple for you."

Shuichi chuckled quietly.

In the very back of Kokichi's mind a tiny voice started to speak up and remind him that he would look ugly and fat and not loveable if he would eat now, but it was pushed back down when Kokichi took Shuichis warm hand in his own.

Up to this day he never realized how small and fragile his hands where, how soft Shuichi's were and how perfect they fit into each other.

An alarm started ringing in his mind. What was he doing here? Was.. Was he really crushing on a boy he only met a few days back? How.. How could he even? Is that possible?

He had never felt the need for love, or even any sort of affection, not after what his parents did back then. Could Shuichi be different? Could he.. be ..the one?

Kokichi's thinking was harshly interrupted by a loud, noisy girl.

"Shuichi and Kokichi are holding hands! Oh my god.. Are you gay?"

Loud, hateful laughter followed and Kokichi wanted nothing more than just to die right here and there.

"I don't know but him but I sure am and if you have a problem with that than I would gladly like you to say it straight to my face."

Shuichi stood in front of Kokichi, an annoyed twitch in his voice as he talked back to Tsumugi.

"So am I, and you can keep your dirty mouth shut if you don't have anything useful to say you little bitch."

He was surprised at how strong he felt with Shuichi on his side.

Tsumugi shut up and left the dinning room with an annoyed noise.

"So.. Uhm, should we eat?"

Shuichi had turned to him and Kokichi couldn't help but fall helplessly in love with this dumb detective...


	13. Chapter 13

Slowly the sun in Kokichi's life began to shine again. Either that or someone put the spotlight on him. He felt like he could actually get better, actually get out of that big black hole that he was caught in for so long.

He and Shuichi were currently seated at the movie room inside the dormitory. Cuddled together on the couch between a snoring Miu and a quietly sleeping Maki.

The movie had not even reached the 1 hour mark and both of the girls were in the land of sleep. Good for Kokichi.. Or not?

Well right now he was kinda cuddled against Shuichi, who seamed stiffer than usual. He shot a glance to the taller male, only to be met with golden eyes looking down to him.

"Is something wrong?"

Shuichi tried to get comfortable in his position before he turned more to Kokichi.

"I've been thinking about today... This morning to be precise. You.."

"Oh neheehee you mean the kiss my sweet little shumai~? That was just to make you blush, it looks so cute, or is that a lie too?"

Kokichi grinned widely and placed a hand softly on his cheek.

"You goddamn liar"

Shuichi tried to sounds intimidating but failed as a chuckle left his oh so soft looking lips.

"Oh no you see right through me, how bad"

The grape boy couldn't help but caress his cheek and lean in closer to the boy in front of him.

"What are you doing my beloved supreme leader?"

If Kokichi hadn't just burried his head in the crook of Shuichi's neck, the taller male would have seen his little blush for sure.

And then he felt this goddamn soft lips hover over his own neck again. His head slowly melting into pudding again, god he even had goosebumps.

"So excited?"

Shivers and chills down his spine. Lips were pressed onto his sensitive neck. Kokichi didn't know better than to cling to Shuichi and whimper into his shirt, as the taller one started to mark the poor boys neck in shades of purple and blue.

"Your mine~"

The whisper next to Kokichi's ear made him shiver with excitement and happiness.

"So possessive mister detective? Oh well I guess I have to give in and stay with a pervert for the rest of my days...neheehee~"

The soft giggle filled the air, before there was a push and an annoyed groaning.

"Could you guys maybe do that lovely dovely shit in your own fucking rooms.?"

Maki looked at them with a tired, but still stern look and pushed the two of them off the couch.

"Hush now and move you sick lovebirds"

With that words Kokichi's grabbed his lover and ran out the movie room directly in direction of their dorm room.

"Eh! Not so fast I'll trip you idiot"

Inside their dorm the two of them were met with clean sheets and a wave a cool air gently filling to room. While Shuichi closed the door carefully, Kokichi threw himself onto Shuichi's bed and cuddled himself into his very soft pillow.

"You wanna sleep again you sleepy head?"

"Nah I rather cuddle and talk.."

Shuichi was a bit shocked about Kokichi being so direct for once. Without hesitation the taller boy cradled the lil grape into his arms and planted a kiss on his forehead.

"Uhm.. I.. I.."

Kokichi looked up in confusion of his lover stuttering and being so flushed all of the sudden. He cought but got a grip on himself again, before he spoke up again.

"Ouma Kokichi. Would you maybe.. consider being my b-boyfriend?"

His golden eyes pierced themself into glowing pink ones. The time almost felt frozen but only a few seconds passed by.

"Am I the best and most impressive supreme leader to ever be known?"

"So that means no..?"

"Wha-...Hey!!"

A soft hit was placed at Shuichi's shoulder, named just chuckled at the pouting Kokichi in his arms.

"That means yes... Yes I would really like to be ur fucking boyfriend mister dete-... Shuichi.."


	14. Chapter 14

"Shuichi.. Do you.. Do you trust me?"

It came so sudden that it took him a second to answer. 

"Of course I trust you, even if I met you a few days ago, I would give me life to protect you."

"Dying is easy young man, living is harder..."

"Was that a fucking Hamilton reference?!"

Kokichi giggled and crawled out of Shuichi's tight hug. He stumbled on his feet and looked out the window with determination.

"If you trust me Shuichi, then take my hand now."

Golden eyes started at the hand that was reaching out to him. What was the purple haired boy thinking, what did he want to do?

"I fully trust you"

The detective stood up and took the hand of the smaller male into his own. A bright smile was the response as the blue haired one was literally dragged out of the dormitory.

"You have to be quiet OK?"

He acted as if he was to lock his lips with a key and ran next to Kokichi down the corridor to the exit.

Bright moonlight greeted him on the outside, turning every second into a fairytale.

"Where are we going my beloved?"

"We gonna watch the stars mister detective~"

It was true, the stars looked really magical tonight, bright and so clear. On the other hand he never imagined Kokichi to be the slightest bit romantic at all.

"So romantic today?"

"Shut up or I'll tell my minions to take care of you."

The blush that was spreading all over the purple haired boys cheeks couldn't really be hidden under the bright light from the moon.

"Kokichi"

A hand on his hip turned the small boy around, pressing him against a stronger and bigger body.

"Your such a little liar, but oh cutie I see through all of it now. You are just a hurt little boy, all scared from your past, but now there is me. I'll hold you when you can't anymore, I'll be there to help you through everything... Because I like you Kokichi. I really fucking do and oh god it's so weird to like someone after a few frickin days but it's just- hmpf!!!"

"Oh god just shut up."

Kokichi pulled him down and crashed their lips together. A small chuckle slipped over his lips into the kiss.

"Your blubbering again shu-shu ~"

The grip on the smaller ones hip tightened and suddenly the was a hand on his ass.

"Jump."

It wasn't a statement, it was an order and for once in his life, Kokichi let himself be ordered around and jumped just as asked to.

Shuichi held him under his ass while his lovers legs were loosely wraped around his hips.

There they stood, in the middle of the field behind the school, at night, sucking the shit out of each others face. How did shit turn out like this after all?

And then it started to rain. Oh how Shuichi knew that something like that would happen when he tried to have a moment for once.

A laughing interrupted his thoughts and he looked down to Kokichi in his arms.

"Just kissing in the rain eh?"

"Oh.. Yeah!"

They just stood there, not bothering about the rain pouring down on both of them now. Embracing each other in this moment, not caring about what was going to happen in near future.

"Kokichi you're shivering, let's get you dry again."

A small nod was the answer on that, but named didn't make any move to like.. Get off of Shuichi at all. An amused sigh left his mouth as he started to carry the really too light weighing Kokichi back into their dorm room.

"Could you maybe start eating a bit more..like.. Your really light, with your high it's.. Not really good you know..?"

The smaller boy started to stiff and burry his head into the chest in front of him.

"I am trying.. I really really am.. It's.. It's just so fucking hard! I can't eat anything without the voices in my head telling me how unworthy of any for of attention or love I am for it. If I eat more it will just came back up and thats sheer waste of good food."

Shuichi heart started to hurt as he listened to his lover whine about his problems. He pressed him closer to his chest and planted a kiss on top of his head.

"We... We are gonna do it together. We gonna scream that fucking voices down! I won't let them tell you lies. You frickin deserve love. So much love."

Quiet sobs emerged from Kokichi as he slowly started to look up to the taller male. How could he be so nice to an unworthy creature like himself. How would he even be able to like him?

But he did. He liked him. Shuichi liked him.

Tears spilled down his heated up cheeks as he grabbed the side of Shuichi's cheeks in an almost helpless manner.

And then they were connected again, through a thin thring. Soft lips moving against each other and tears framed the face of one. It had so emotion in it, so full of love and trust and just neediness.

Both of the rung for air as they separated after a few minutes. 

"Now change clothes OK? Your dripping onto the floor sweety"

It was the truth. Under the both of them was a small puddle of rain water and he could hear his clothes drop water into it.

"I will.. Just promise to not go away and leave till I get back..."

"I promise on my life."


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some stress the last few days so here is an extra long chapter for you guys. If some things don't add up yet I'm sorry, they will become clear over the next chapters ^^

The night went on rather quiet, cuddled into Shuichi's bed. Kokichi's one would for sure not been used for the next.. Uhm.. Year at last?

He just preferred sleeping with someone cuddled close to him, keeping him warm and safe. Of course he would never say that out loud.. After all he was the ultimate supreme leader.

A dreamless sleep over swept him while laying in his lover's arms, well until he woke up from thunder outside, just to find the bed empty. Shuichi wasn't where he put him a few hours ago.

Back to Shuichi being some sort of room decor. Pink eyes gazed around sleepy, before legs were swung over the edge of the bed.

'Imma go take a peek.. Maybe he is in trouble..'

First stop was the bath, but as the doorlock was still broken from a few days ago, it wasn't that hard to see that no one was in there.

'Maybe.. Common room? Or he went to grab a snack..'

Kokichi threw Shuichi's hoodie over himself before he made his way down the corridor to the dining hall. Sadly named wasn't there either, it was completely empty and not crowded like it is during day time.

'Where did the fucker go?'

Worry started to crawl up on his like a disgusting bug, just that he wasn't able to shrug it off like one.

His naked feet flew over the carpet floor in the hallway up to the showerroom. 

'Maybe he took a shower? He didn't shower after the rain thing after all, he must have felt disgusting.. Why didn't he go earlier anyway.. We could have...together.. NO. That's too early.'

Kokichi's cheeks started to heat up at the thought of showering together with his beloved Shumai. The big white painted wooden door caught his eyes and he slowly lifted a hand to open it, when he suddenly stopped.

He clearly heard the dazzling sound of water hitting the ground. Someone was really showering at this hour. It was 3:12 after all...

Could it really be Shuichi..? His heartbeat almost stopped for a second when a voice started to sing from inside. It was clear and really frickin high pitched, Kokichi would not be able to reach that note even if someone stepped on his toes. 

It must be a girl.. In the boys shower room.. At 3:12 on a Thursday night... That's some fucked up shit ey.. But, it was the boy's shower room after all.. Sooo.. If he would take a peak, it wasn't his fault if he would see something.. Right?

With that in mind he put his hand back on the doorknob and twisted as quietly as possible, before opening the door just as much that he was possible to look through the crack at what was inside the room.

And that what was inside made his heart skipped a beat, and another one, and another one.. Basically he was scared that his heart wasn't gonna start beating again at all. He just couldn't believe it.

"Shuichi?!"

Shuichi was standing with the back to the door, but he would be able to notice that blueberry everywhere. And boy that meant that Shuichi had a fucking high voice range. Cute.. In some way he guessed.. Would he moan like that too..?

"K-ko..Kokichi get out!!"

He stood there with shock as Shuichi only turned his head to him and was trying his best to not let Kokichi see his front side at all. Panic was written all over his face.

Named just closed the door behind him.

"Aww my beloved Shumai why so scared, we are both men after all and I am weally weeaally sad that I had to go shower without my pervert."

A grin appeared on his face, before it quickly turned into a big pout. 

"Maybe we could do it now?"

One step after another he got closer to the now terrified looking boy.

"Kokichi p-please..please get out"

It was a hopeless begging as Kokichi had passed the wall where all the towels were hung up and was now almost behind his boyfriend.

"But my belo-"

"NO! Get your fucking ass out of here!!"

Shuichi snapped and turned around, just to realize his mistake the exact moment he wasn't able to undo it anymore.

Pink eyes grew wide, mouth hanging open with surprise. Yellow eyes were screaming total panic as the blue haired grapped a towel and his stuff and basically flew out of the shower room.

Kokichi just stared at the point where his boyfri-.. His significant other had been standing just a second ago.

'Shuichi why.. didn't you say.. anything..'

His brain started to progress that his love stormed out and Kokichi wasn't following him yet. His legs starting to get the message and ran to get to his Shumai.

He didnt care if he was waking up the entire dorm with his loud footsteps, he just had to confront Shuichi.

Their dorm door had been left open and Kokichi was very sure that he closed it on his way out and the fact there were wet footprints on the ground just proved his thesis that Shuichi ran in there.

".. Shuichi?"

It was quiet, almost too quiet. The beds were empty, which only left one other space as a possible hiding spot.

"Hey.. I know you are in there.."

He knocked softly on the now closed bath door. Kokichi didn't even try to open to door, he knew perfectly well that Shuichi must be sitting with his back pressed against it, otherwise the door would open on its own again.

Nothing both a quiet breathing was able to be heard and so Kokichi sat down himself, back pressed against the outside of the bathroom door.

"You know that.. It's OK right? It doesn't chance anything about the fact that I like you.. That I.. That I fucking want you in my life and by my side. For as long as I live. I wanna be able to hold your hand, to protect you.. To.. Just be with you .. And if you tell anyone I ever said that, my minions will come.. And... Dunno.. Ask you nicely to not do it.. Ugh.."

His swept his hair out of his eyes and sighed softly. "Saihara Shuichi..please.. Talk to me.. or come out there.. Its cold in there..."

First it was quiet and then there was the sound of a body shifting on the ground. Carefully Kokichi tried and successfully opened the door just wide enough that he would fit through.

Shuichi sat scrunched over in a corner, a big black towel wrapped around his entire body. Even in the dim light it was clear that the boy was shivering and shaking as a whole.

"I'll bring you some clothes and then you can change OK? I'll wait outside if you want to."

A small nod was the response and so Kokichi hurried to grab a hoodie, some joggers, a pair of briefs and some socks out of Shuichi's drawer. He handed it in and sat on the bed while the taller male was changing into some clothes.

When the door was opened, he was met with an emotional mess of a Shuichi. He had tears rolling down his flushed cheeks and his eyes looked puffy and reddish. He looked so helpless.

"Come here..wanna cuddle?"

Shuichi began to lay down onto the bed next to him but made no effort to get closer at all, which Kokichi respected.

"C-could we.. Just.. H-hold hands?"

His voice was high picked because of the crying and sounded like it was about to crack down any second.

"Sure."

Kichi took Shuichi's hand into his own and proceeded to just look at his lovers handsome face.

"Your.. Not mad that I kept quiet.. I mean.. Your gay.. And.. I.. I am maybe not what you want at all, it's fine if you don't wanna be my boyfriend anymore after this..because-"

"Shut up. I don't fucking care if you are a cis male or trans. It's the same thing for me. Your a man, I am gay for you. The end. Your not something different just because Atua made a mistake while giving out bodies. He is stupid after all.. Don't let Angie here that. She will slap me with a bible again."

A smale chuckle escaped the blue haired boy and he shifted a bit closer to his boyfriend. 

"Thank you.. For.. Not being angry and Accepting it..I mean.."

"Everything alright bro. You're still my beloved pervert and if I ever make you uncomfortable by doing something just tell me okay..?"

"I don't even deserve you..."

Shuichi smiled softly under tears as he nuzzled his face into Kokichi's neck. 

"You deserve the world.. And that's what I'll try and give you.."

Their eyes closed and silent fell over them. After Kokichi was sure that Shuichi's breathing was normal and he was sleeping, he himself let the sleepiness roll over and carry him into his dreamland.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo its my first time writing on here so please don't be too hard on me, I'd love some critique and suggestions how to make it better.


End file.
